Large Families

Every now and then a mother gets rewarded for the work she puts into raising her family and I had a payday just this week. An editorial was printed in our local newspaper written by a woman entitle, “California Can’t Survive Large Families.” Her point of view centered on the cost to the taxpayers for raising and educating, “all these children” from large families. She also expressed a dislike for “organizations” that encourage large families. She was not targeting our faith but referenced churches.

This article opened a floodgate of conversation around our home because our children swear that they learned how to survive because they were raised in a large family. Where else can you learn the skill of sitting down to dinner, sizing up what is placed before you and in seconds find the largest portions of food on the serving plates. They knew right where to strike as soon as the blessing was said. Maybe survival has a different meaning to my children but they have learned to never be the last one at the dinner table. The responses I heard from them about her article was my reward. I would like to share with you what my children had to say about large families.

“We have driven through California and we saw a lot of open space our there for more people.”

“I think it is fun to have a lot of family around. She must have had a bad experience as a child with her family. Maybe she was an only child and doesn’t realize how great the support is of siblings and parents who are there for you.”

“Her point of view must be coming from somewhere we have never been. She views all people as takers, not givers to society. Aren’t we supposed to help those who can’t give then teach them how to give?”

“We turn to each other when we need help. She must not understand support in a family and that we are here for each other.”

“I don’t see our large family as a burden to society. We have all been raised to give back more than we are given. I wonder how she raised her own children? Did she make them feel like they were in her way?”

These comments made about this woman and her editorial’s point of view are, of course, only my children’s assumptions as to her background and upbringing but it demonstrated to me that having a large family has been and is a pleasant experience for my children. It is not the number of children in a family that is important, but rather how they are raised that determines whether they are a liability or as asset to society. We, as LDS families, have a ready-made culture that teaches us the “hard work” ethic and the importance of being service oriented. When a child is raised with this foundation they become givers to society, not takers. It is true that the average LDS family size is larger than the norm but I have never been informed that the number of children in a family unit has any influence on the quality of individuals that we send out into the world, whether or not that child comes from a small or large family. From my point of view it is the gospel principles that teach more than the size of family.

This is just another reason why we need to set the best example we can to the world. Because human nature leads us to want to be like the successful person or family in this case, we, as LDS, can set a standard and share the foundation of the gospel with others. The way to “Resolve the world’s ‘too many children’ dilemma,” is to share the truths of the gospel with everyone.