Try For The Sake Of Trying

We were picking out a movie to rent the other day and in the comedy section one interesting DVD jacket read…“If at first you don’t succeed, lower your standards!” We all had a good chuckle about that idea and inwardly I felt rewarded that my children could see the reverse psychology behind the comment. Too often the world’s view is telling us to be happy with apathy and passiveness. Negative comments from others prevent a child from thinking they can achieve something never tried before. Self-doubt stops a child from making an effort to attempt a new challenge.

One of the greatest gifts a mother can five her child is the encouragement to try. There are so many little catch phrases that we hear all the time on this topic. “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” “Never, never give up.” “When the going gets tough the tough get going.” “Anything the mind of man can conceive, it can achieve.” These are not new concepts. Every motivational speaker has several of these clichés in their speeches. Our own prophet encourage us to not be afraid to achieve. President Kimball’s phrase, “Just Do It,” (Do it, Do it right and do it right now!”) is a family motto in many homes.

I personally am a firm believer in the poser of “one” and the influence he or she can have on the group. But this influence will not be felt if one never tries. Positive encouragement for a child to be a participant instead of a spectator is acted upon when it comes from someone they trust. An individual’s decision to run for an office at school, give a speech, write an article for the school newspaper on their viewpoint, reach out to make a new friends, try out for an athletic team, apply for a scholarship or a myriad of other opportunities comes mainly from an outside source. Let that influence and encouragement come from you.

There is something to be gained by just trying. We don’t win everything we try out for nor does everyone agree with our viewpoints but the act of doing makes us a better person and gives us the experience to finally succeed. For most of us, this is a better person and gives us the experience to finally succeed. For most of us, this is a learned behavior and that is why encouragement from the outside is so important. Success is usually not reached on the first attempt. Ralph Waldo Emerson stated, “That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do…not that the nature of the thing is changed, but our power to do so is increased.” Your children cannot see their own potential as you do. Our job as mothers and parents is to help them see it and achieve it!
Theodore Roosevelt said it this way. “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

There is a saying that we recite in our family that goes… “There are those individuals who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened.” This saying when contemplated can bring about positive introspection and self-analysis. Who wants to be the one who wonders what happened? Or even who saw it happen. Remind your child that, “It doesn’t hurt to try” … compare and enlighten them that the lasting hurt is in not trying!

Not In Service

This past month we picked our son from the England, Birmingham Mission. It was a great experience to see where he had walked and listen to his stories as we drove past a door or street that stimulated his memory of an experience. One story that brought about much conversation and thought was of being out on a cold, wet English night waiting for the last bus to take them home at the end of a very disappointing day. Missionaries get up early and work hard all day and this had been no exception. Standing in the cold rain after their final appointment he saw the bus approaching and thought of getting on a warm bus was the one thing that would forgive the events of a very long day. As the bus rolled past without the slightest hesitation in its speed, he noticed the sign on the front that read, “Out of Service.” The thoughts of warmth and an easy ride home vanished instantly. He related to us that as he felt the sting of disappointment he decided then and there that never would he be, “Out of Service,” if someone needed him. He internalized this experience into something positive.

We talked a lot about being “Out of Service” and joked about how convenient it would be at times if we could put on a sign that declared to the world that we didn’t want to be bothered or to serve anyone. Can you just imagine our homes if we mothers put up such a sign? Or, how about in our wards if we wore a sign that said, “Out of Service in Primary” or “Out of Service if I have to work with Sister _______.” Our lives should be filled with service because it is service that makes our lives worthwhile. We should never miss these opportunities. President Kimball said that, “We cannot have spirituality without service.”

We can teach our families true service by giving time spent the “Interesting or Important Test.” Ask yourself each day how much effort was spent on interesting activities as opposed to how much time was spent on important activities. It makes us accountable for our usage of time and is a great end-of-the-day evaluation. It also makes a child aware of the activities they spend their time on. It should be very sobering if a child reports that most of the afternoon was spent playing video games.

Our families are where acts of service should be first experienced. Long ago I heard a quote that went something like this… “If you do a good turn, never remember it. If you receive a good turn, never forget it.” If only we could apply that principal to daily living. It reminds me how sometimes old grudges are talked about forever but a kindness is soon forgotten. If unconditional service to each other could be first priority how different our homes would be. The “Out of Service” sign would never appear. Love, trust, unselfishness and charity would be developed in our children. We would always be there when spouses, children or sibling really needed us.

Mother Teresa, the epitome of service, stated that, “It is not how much you do, but how much love you put into the doing.” Can you just imagine a home where the “In Service” sign was always out or the ward where the Bishop was never turned down when issuing a calling? Pause a moment, to reflect about that kind of atmosphere. You’re right… being in a place where everyone is serving others with love would be heaven on earth.