Appreciation

When logging onto my computer one morning I realized my Internet was down. I immediately became very frustrated because my life and work begins when I’m connected. Paying bills, communication and everything else remained inconveniently on hold until the Internet came up. I was amazed at my reaction as I felt anger surfacing toward my cable provider. The thought went through my mind… “I need to telephone them and express my displeasure with their service!” As that thought passed another one came along just as powerful… “Have you ever telephoned thanking them for the many days that their service is working fine?” The answer, of course, was no. I once heard someone say that housework is only noticed when it goes undone and that morning’s experience proved its validity. Human nature in most of us is quick to anger and slow to express appreciation.

My thoughts drifted to a family raising children. How many times do children act correctly and do things right yet how often do we parents only comment when they do things wrong? This could apply to our spouse and our parents as well. All relationships would be better if we could bridle our comments and engage our brain before we speak, praising more and criticizing less. I once heard it said… “It’s too bad that we don’t have a mute button when we speak!” How different the atmosphere in our homes would be if words of kindness, compliments and appreciation were given more often and criticism was written down on a piece of paper to be discussed later?

“Have the same courtesy in your homes that you have when you are out in society. Thank your wives, thank your children, and say, ‘If you please,’ ‘Excuse me.’ These little things mean so much and make life so much sweeter.” David O. McKay Improvement Era, December 1968.

Overcoming our knee-jerk reaction to anger and use of harsh words begins with first… recognizing that pattern in yourself and then second…learning how to control your thoughts and words. Every word we say has its beginning first in thought so to change what we say will ultimately require that we change what we think. The words we say either strengthen or destroy bonds in a relationship. We have all heard that our eyes are the windows to our soul. It might be said also the mouth is its radio, sometimes broadcasting uncensored and uncontrolled thoughts.

We have all experienced the remorse of speaking before we think and hurting another’s feelings. Worse yet is to experience unkind acts directed to our children and witness the pain of our child who has just been hurt. The “Mother Bear” can emerge in all of us but it is how we deal with those emotions that are so important to our own development as well as our child’s. In watching my own children I find some can make and attract friends easily while others have a more difficult time. The one universal quality in forming friendships and keeping them is the “talent” to make others feel important and appreciated for who they are as an individual. A talent that can be cultivated and perfected in all of us…sincere appreciation!

Each of us can gain mastery in our words and thoughts. We can begin now in our next conversation or in our next experience when something doesn’t go our way. Think before we act in every situation, “Act Don’t React” to coin a phrase. Our children need to see us at our best as they follow our examples. We become their role models by the way we respond and treat other people. Begin by expressing your appreciation for all the good that is done to all those closest around you…your families! Teach them how to appreciate!