Borrowed Light

We recently attended the setting apart of a Sister with whose family we have gained a special closeness. It was what you call one of those paydays in life. I reflected on our experiences together and the challenges their family has been through. They have endured more trials and tribulations than most families are called on to bear. Suffering unemployment, wayward children, physical handicap issues, prejudices and bigotry from non-member relatives, poor health, death of her husband, grieving and finally the challenging circumstances of life as a single parent. I marveled at this mother who is making correct choices under extremely difficult circumstances.

I made a mental note observing this family was not alone in the room. Present were her current Bishop, former Bishop, visiting teachers, home teachers, relief society presidents, both past and present, youth leaders and true friends who sincerely cared about this family. They all represented a strength and light that she had drawn from at one time or another. It was awe inspiring to see the church organization in action with charity intertwined through it all.

I have thought about this event throughout this past week contrasting this experience with other individuals I observe who do not make wise choices in their lives. Not only are they suffering because of these poor choices but their children are penalized as well. The higher road is the hardest road and requires real strength of character and determination. When we as mothers contemplate our children’s potential and our aspirations for them we anticipate them bettering their existence, becoming smarter than we are… wiser than we are… stronger in the church, and basically we desire a better way of life for them. The questions to ask ourselves are… “Are we making those choices that will give them those opportunities? Are we teaching by our example with truth and light to show them a better way of life so they won’t make the same mistakes we make?”

President Boyd K. Packer relates his experience in Polynesia while traveling from one island to another. The crew on their small boat was in need of a flashlight as their own light’s batteries had gone dead. Because they would be arriving after dark, it was needed to guide them safely into the harbor. A passenger had a flashlight in his luggage and so the crew borrowed his. It was because of this borrowed light that they arrived without harm because a power outage eliminated all illumination around the dock they were arriving at. “The Edge of the Light”, BYU Devotional, 3/1990.

Building on the analogy that children are borrowers of their parent’s light, we as their role models demonstrate everything they emulate. They borrow from us, as their examples, everything we are until they can become who they are. They become what you are because they perceive your behavior a paragon of everything correct. Is the “light” they borrow from you the right light?

We can recognize generational traits being passed down from father to son… mother to daughter and if they are positive traits we should reinforce those attributes. On the contrary, if they are negative traits which generationally persist, then the time has come to stop transmitting it to future generations by becoming the transitional person in the family line to alter those behaviors. It all comes down to the choices you make as a role model. Which traits do you want your children to borrow? The concept of giving others our light is not new. We are taught to strengthen ourselves so that others may lean on us during their times of need.

"You cannot lift another soul until you are standing on a higher ground than he is. You must be sure, if you would rescue the man, which you yourself are setting the example of what you would have him be. You cannot light a fire in another soul unless it is burning in your own soul." --Harold B. Lee, "Stand Ye in Holy Places", Ensign, July 1973

The choices we make, our generational habits we cling to impact our children and their future lives. In these times of uncertainty and hardship the phrase, “Safety in Zion” rings correct. It doesn’t mean that we will be without trials but the choices we make will keep us close to the gospel and will get us through these times. Correct paths will help us maintain the light we can let our children borrow to guide them safely into the harbor.