The Dependable Ones

I wish we could all be sitting in a huge arena and share our motherhood tales with each other. I know everyone would enjoy hearing similar experiences and it would prove to us that we are all more alike than different regarding our thoughts and feelings about being a Mom. I had an epiphany the other day that I have to share with you, but first I need to give some background. One of my motherhood dilemmas while raising children has been different from those frequently talked about in general conference addresses giving comfort and advice for parents of wayward children.  Though by no means perfect, my children have always stayed close to the Church so my dilemma deals with encouraging them to remain examples of righteousness and obedience. It has always been entertaining to hear my children relate the fun stories of scout campouts and listen to the adventures of misbehavior. A list of who played what pranks on the unsuspecting scout or scout master. I also find it interesting at eagle courts of honor everyone reminisces about those stories, savoring every detail. Sadly, I had one of my sons say to me how he wished he could get the attention that his misbehaving peer received and that it would be fun to have stories told about him that everyone loved to hear.  Sometimes I personally feel we reward bad actions simply by our attention of them. This is an example of what I call the Brother of the Prodigal Son Syndrome.  We reward bad behavior with attention while good behavior remains unnoticed and often without compliment.

How can we deal with the feelings of the dependable child, the one who is inherently good and obedient?  When a child is developing into an adult they don’t comprehend the full picture, neither can they see the rewards obtained by being obedient.  All they understand is their misbehaving friends getting the attention from the adults, regardless of the negative reason for which the attention was given…sad to say, but true. Shepherds should be aware of their entire flock…even those who appear to have few needs. The prodigal son’s good behavior never goes unnoticed, their birthdays and advancements are never forgotten, trips to the ice cream store always take place and their well being takes up the majority of the adult leadership meetings while the dependable “brother of the prodigal son” who is always where he should be and will always there to fall back on, receives little or no focus or attention.  The awareness of this dependability and obedience by a leader is not always the reward an obedient child needs or wants. As an adult that would sufficient, but as a child it is lacking because they also need time and attention.  They just don’t demand it through misbehavior.

This topic has been addressed several times in our home over the years and as a mother all I could do was reinforce their goodness and obedience with my praise.  My epiphany came just the other day as I witnessed my son’s understanding of this concept during a follow-up meeting after an event.  My child’s name was inadvertently left off the list honoring participants who had made the event successful.  As our eyes met I knew he was painfully aware of the error.  I winked at him and could see he was reading my thoughts… “It’s OK, don’t worry about it.”  Towards the end of the meeting another list was read announcing new assignments for individuals.  While reading the names, the adult leader stopped when he came to my son’s name, paused for a moment and then said, “I know him well. He will do a great job for you!”  I again glanced at my son and by the pleased expression on his face I knew that he finally understood and felt the rewards of being obedient and dependable..

Those few words brought euphoria and pulled all these years of encouragement together.  For all you dependable, wonderful, “be where you need to be”, “do what is right always” children, the day will come when our Savior will announce to the multitudes, “I know him well and he will do a great job!”  If our Savior can say to thief who was on the cross next to him, “You will be with me today in Paradise,” a glorious, peaceful place of honor, how much more glorious will our rewards be if we are always doing what is right and good?