Every now and then you have WOW moments in motherhood. Just the other day I had one that made me wonder who the teacher really is because my son taught me. He opened my eyes to a concept in raising a family that I wish I had understood years ago.
We were driving behind a police car and as we came to an intersection the police car, without signaling, stopping or even the slightest hesitation, did a great California slide through the red light and turned right. We stopped at the intersection, looked and then turned right, ending up behind the police car again. He didn’t seem to be in a hurry and didn’t appear to be chasing anyone. My son asked a very sincere question, “Are policeman above the law or should he have stopped at that light also?”
How does a mother answer that? I’ve never heard of a different set of rules for those in law enforcement so I just said that they should not be above the law but I’m sure that there are those who take advantage of the power they have.
His response was brief but it said volumes about child rearing. “Wouldn’t that make the law enforcement profession lose credibility if they all acted like that? Mom, what would have happened if you and Dad had a different set of rules while raising us?”
WOW… “Don’t you watch R-rated movies but after you go to bed we’ll bring them out…You need to go on a mission but I’m not going to hold a calling while you are gone because I’ll need to get a second job to pay for it and Sunday will be my only day off…It is great to keep the Sabbath day holy but we can miss Church to watch that important game because it’s only once a year…Family prayer, too busy… Family home evening? Our family is close enough…I can yell at you because I’m the parent but don’t you ever show disrespect to me… I want you to be a hard worker but you go mow the lawn while I take a break in this chair.” I’ve heard it said that to teach children good manners you have to set a good example. What happens to our credibility in our children’s eyes when we live a double standard?
This reminds me of a trip to we took to England. As we drove out of the airport in our rental car merging onto the express way, we nearly hit an oncoming car. It is immaterial at this point to debate which country drives on the wrong side of the road; but we realized that if the rules weren’t obeyed, the consequences could be fatal. Touring the English countryside for the next several days soberly reminded us that obeying simple traffic rules kept us alive. Ignoring those simple rules would bring harsh consequences. To be out of danger we had to obey English rules. The analogy with death seems harsh but if one doesn’t obey, that is exactly what could happen.
The rules of our Father in Heaven are no different. They apply to all and all alike. No one is above any rule that He gives us. The danger of losing a child spiritually comes when they see a double standard in their parent. Credibility of what you say and do is lost when they see you sliding through the red light so to speak. Rules do not change when we get older or become parents. Children learn more from what we do rather than what we say. They know when their parents are talking the talk but not walking the walk. Blessings come by obedience to laws and those blessings will come when we live within the bounds that are set within the gospel. How great it would be if all children could live a life of not only doing what you say but also what you do? Your child will follow your footsteps sooner than he will follow your advice.
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