We had the fun opportunity of touring the arena facility for an NBA team. Entering the locker room where the players dress for the game was a large white board mounted on the wall that listed all the other NBA teams in order of league standings. A mental reminder of where their own team stood, where they had to go and what they had to accomplish to get to be their best. Their ultimate goal was always on display. Another large white board was on the opposite wall, listing all players on the team with their stats from the last game, displayed openly for all to evaluate how well each performed in the different areas of the game. These boards were a constant visual for players to measure their skills and where improvement needed to take place. I found it interesting to learn that these great players who are at the top of their game hire a personal coach, if not two coaches, one for offense and one for defense, to help them improve their skills and strengthen their weaknesses. The thought went immediately through my mind, “what would happen in our families if personal goals were seen and evaluated daily like this?” Better yet… having a coach that your children would really listen to and learn from!
As I walked into my home that night I looked at it differently. What within my four walls expresses where I want my family to be both eternally and personally? We live in a wonderful home-decorating period of talking walls. Thanks to the peel-and-stick technology, I’ve placed the written words on my family room wall, “You are defined by the choices you make…choose wisely.” Another wall displays genealogy pictures of ancestors conveying a bond with our forbearers… that is good. Picture of the temple… check, picture of Christ… good, FHE chart… done. I then went into one of the bedrooms. Sports pictures were everywhere, but at least they were BYU posters. Scriptures were on the nightstand but unfortunately there were no other real evidences of self-improvement or goal charts. Where were the items posted in this room that would remind my children of self-improvement and eternal goals? The room where most of their pondering is done should reflect those daily reminders of where you want them to be?
Our family unit is really a team unit. Parents are those personal coaches given to children to help them evaluate where they are in accomplishing and setting correct goals for eternal success. A good coach would have daily evaluations or personal interviews with his players. If immediate correction is required he would make that correction without hesitation because a mistake’s consequence could hinder both the team and player. Sometimes significant mistakes bring on a fine or even ejection off the court when a certain standard it not kept. These players know the rules and have to live by them. Do we do that as mothers? Or do we worry about staying friends with our children and fear setting standards or discipline, thinking they might alienate us? Our children really do want rules, guidelines and regulations.
While walking through the arena the question was asked how much the coach really contributes to the team’s success or if the players just focus on their respective skills. The answer was again an eye opener for me: the coach is the most important component and guides his team to success. One coach was named that has had great success over the years past years because of his communication skills. This coach can take a rebellious player who does not want to work with the team or has a big ego and make him teachable. He can create the chemistry on the team that unifies his players with a desire to work toward the same end.
Maybe change in our family team needs to come in the form of changing the way we coach. Making sure goals are set, displayed and evaluated often with our family and in improving our own coaching styles in the way we communicate with our children. If it can work for an NBA team just think how it would help our families who have eternal goals with eternal importance.
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