I remember the number of games I attended each week with 6 boys playing sports. Almost every night of the week and every Saturday were filled with practices or games to attend. I knew I had mentally lost it when I started forgetting which game was where and with whom...I needed a map with a sports schedule attached to keep it all straight.
Did I enjoy them? This question became the subject of conversation when the mother of only one son was sitting by me one night on the bleachers. She was going on about how wonderful it was to get out of the house to enjoy a good ball game. She then asked, “Don’t you just love being here?” Almost as if a remote control button was pushed I paused that moment in time as thoughts of everything else I could be doing at home ran through my mind. Instead, here I was sitting at the ball park, a cold wind blowing through me with innings that never seemed to end as boy after boy took their turn at bat. Just as I was about to answer her question the coach yelled at the umpire and marched onto the field for a vile face to face confrontation and was immediately asked to leave the game. This whole scene represented another great example of team spirit and playing with honor as my son witnessed his coach and team leader being kicked out of the game.
To answer her question I could not help but think that after years of watching game after game…sport after sport…the involvement I enjoyed and literally loved was watching my sons play. I rallied my focus and watched in awe as my child participated, did well and loved his involvement in each sport. Did I enjoy the games and get involved in each play! The answer is no…I was not there to see the game because I loved it…I came to see my sons play the game because I loved them. That is the answer. I can’t say that I am like most mothers. I’m sure that some of you love every aspect of every sport including those coaches with errant behavior. Over the years I learned that some games are won and some games are lost but there will always be another game tomorrow. It truly is how you play the game, not whether you win or lose. I know those may be fighting words to some but from my perspective, that’s the way I view it.
To me it was not about the game at all…it was about my son who was playing! Games and sports were a way for me to stay close to my sons. You really can’t take them shopping or out to lunch where you just “bond”. With a boy you bond on the practice field and the game field watching him, cheering him on, making him think that he is wonderful and a great asset to the team. It was the after game activity that meant the most to me, driving home reviewing the game as my son eagerly chatted about the experience. This was more fun than the game itself. Talking about the different plays of the game or the strategies of the different players and coaches were the bonding moments that made the previous three hour game worthwhile! Were all those years worth it? That answer is definitely a YES! Would I do it again? Again, the answer is yes, because those games brought me closer to my sons. Even today we talk about the different seasons of sports, coaches and plays. They still remember every great play they ever made and expect me to remember them too. I don’t, but what is important is they do and still talk to me about it.
My boys have now outgrown those past seasons of sports and to tell you the truth I don’t miss all those games. My life is without regret in that area. I went to their games and enjoyed being with them. With the ill twist of fate though I have decided that life is cruel because now that my sons are older, somehow they still do not like to go shopping or go out to lunch. What is it that they do when they all get together?…They play sports… and if they are not playing a sport they are talking about them. So, what is a mother’s dilemma here? It comes in thinking of ways to stay bonded with our sons who are still narrow in their extra curricular enrichment activities. I have come to the conclusion that the ball is in our court though, if I can use that term. We need to get on their playing field, so I’ve come up with a strategy that works. Talk sports with your sons by keeping up on who’s who in the sports trivia world like who is the homerun king, why a coach picked a certain strategy, which team will make the NBA finals or which leg of the race they are on…then after those moments of bonding, take his wife out shopping and to lunch; she is the one who will appreciate it. See, it is a win-win situation; we really can coach and win this game of motherhood. It is all in the strategy.
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