The other day I overheard some teenage girls commenting about a flashy sports car driven by a young man. That car definitely attracted the girls’ attention! As girls do they started commenting about how lucky they would be if only he would notice them…I smiled to myself and thought, “Maybe you should visualize that boy driving a car he could afford himself …instead of the one his dad bought.” Later while pondering this incident a past Relief Society lesson popped into my mind. Wilford Woodruff admonished, “When the daughters of Zion are asked by the young men to join with them in marriage, instead of asking… Has this man a fine brick house? a span of fine horses and a fine carriage? They should ask…Is he a man of God? Has he the Spirit of God with him? Is he a Latter-day Saint? Does he pray? Has he got the Spirit upon him to qualify him to build up the kingdom? If he has that…never mind the carriage and brick house.” I felt reprimanded by the prophet’s words because I too focused on the car.
A test of this generation is to be in the world while maintaining an eternal perspective when making decisions and selecting choices. It is difficult to be surrounded by people so focused on worldliness and not put importance on such things as well. This flashy sports car experience made me think that at all ages these choices are present for us to make. It may not be carriages or brick houses but we all have temporal thoughts and desires that don’t assist us in eternal growth. Time spent in worldly pursuits and pleasures rob us of the time and energy available for self improvement and eternal growth. How does one begin to keep this focus? Here are a few suggestions that my children came up with.
Don’t judge yourself against worldly values…As I watch the young mothers of today sacrificing “things” to stay at home with their families I gain from their examples. It isn’t easy staying home with children all day. In fact, I feel motherhood is the hardest job of the two roles in marriage. Rewards do not instantly come when a family is small. Only in hindsight will it be confirmed that a stay-at-home mom is eternally the best choice to make. Don’t feel that everyone but you lives in a “Martha Stewart world” where everything matches and your home is in pristine condition. The clutter of toys, laughter and cries of children and non-matching place settings at the table are all evidence of the right choice made in your life. So look at them as positives, not negatives to pine over.
Put your priorities as a family on eternal things… Planning Young Women meetings with a purpose has taught me the value of planning with the end in mind. Plan family activities that have meaning and purpose. Choose activities in your home, family trips and outings with a gospel strengthening motive. Make your home, “not of this world”, but provide the sweetness of eternal things through uplifting visual entertainment and music, home décor and topics of conversations gospel centered. Several sisters went to lunch the other day and the topic of conversation drifted to the homes in which we were raised. I was amazed that almost without exception everyone could describe in great detail their childhood homes, remembering such things as the smell of cookies and pictures hanging on walls. My children will never remember the smell of baking cookies but hopefully they will remember the gospel-centered pictures in our home.
Teach your family to follow the spirit’s guidance in their choices; then trust their choices… A child learns fastest through your example. They will watch you and listen to your stories of how the spirit guides and touches your life. A small child needs you to point out how the spirit works in their own life and as they grow older they will be able to feel it themselves. Once you have taught, you become a spectator, trusting they will make correct choices. Your priorities, when it comes to things of the world, will become important to them. I recall nights while growing up that my parents faithfully attended the temple. All my siblings were aware that it was their temple night. Last year my brother made a comment about his own temple commitment. “How could I not know that it is important…It was important to Mom and Dad; is important to me.” The old saying is true…we do become our parents… but add the phrase… our children become us. Where are our own priorities? More importantly to consider, do your children know what they are?
With everything good the Lord has given us, the adversary has a confusing counterfeit plan to lead us away from our eternal blessing. There really are two Gods of this world: a false one who forsakes us after our choices have taken us away from truth causing emptiness and hollowness. The other God of this world is there to help us make correct choices for the right reasons. Eternal blessing will come when talents, attitudes and actions are focused on eternal pursuits.
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